"Meeting (John) Mayer" Featuring Kelsey Cook

GREAT COMEDIANS. GREAT STORIES. TOLD DIFFERENT. 

COMEDIAN KELSEY COOK

COMEDIAN KELSEY COOK

John Mayer’s body may be a wonderland, but meeting him certainly was not…Let me back up. First, meet Kelsey Cook. Kelsey is the daughter of an International Yo-Yo Champion and a Professional Foosball player. Yes, those are real things. She’s also an up-and-coming comedian and Youtube make-up guru that is based in the beautiful city of Los Angeles. You’ve probably seen Kelsey doing stand up on one of the numerous television shows like FOX TV’s Laughs, Uproarious on FUSE, or Live at Gotham. Right now, she is the opening act for veteran comedian Jim Norton across the US on his “Mouthful Of Shame” tour.

While on tour with Norton, Kelsey found herself at a swanky Hollywood after-party packed with celebrities and comedians. You name it, they were there. Louie Anderson, Bob Saget, Jeff Ross, Gilbert Godfrey, Melissa Rivers — and squeezed into a corner booth surrounded by professionally funny people was the man, the myth, the legend, and Kelsey’s ultimate fantasy, John Mayer.

“John Mayer is one of those artist who every album they put out, it like correlated to abreak up in your life. Ya know, you listen to the lyrics like – ‘This is about me, ME and TIM!!’ – Tears streaming down your face.”

The night went on, drinks were had. Stories were shared, and Kelsey returned to her hotel room later, where her brain then began to head into overdrive. She couldn’t shake the thought of what just happened. Then she realized that all of those after party guests were not only staying at the same hotel, but They were all staying on the same floor as well. That’s when her she went into full-on fangirl mode. She started playing out fantasies from the comfort of her own bed.

“What if I put a dress on and go back downstairs? I could fix my make up and go down for a drink. I wonder if he’s still awake? Maybe I’ll roam the halls for a bit until he comes up to his room…”

Kelsey has still never got another shot at meeting Mayer… and maybe she never will. Life doesn’t owe any of us anything. It doesn’t matter how much you want something to happen, it doesn’t guarantee that it will. However, I felt bad for Kelsey. I wanted to help. So I asked her to write a missed connection for Mr. Mayer in hopes that maybe he would read it, and give her a second shot at introducing herself. The way she always dreamed it would happen. Less denim, and more conversation. So at the end of this episode, Kelsey writes John a Craigslist Missed Connections Ad. Enjoy.